Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 11

JoJo (the missus) shows me her moose knuckle and balls on a fairly regular basis. Wait.   Let me back up here. Here's The Thing™ - JoJo shows me pictures of moose knuckles and balls on a fairly regular basis.  I know you're probably asking yourself why a man's wife would show him pictures of other men's junk...and...well...I … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 11

Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 10

JoJo (the missus) completed a round of antibiotics and steroids recently.  That was fun times.  I mean, having a heat-wave in Texas while your partner is experiencing legally prescribed 'Roid Rage is something that should just not be missed.  Like the toe that she ripped off of me one day just for the fuck of … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 10

Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 9

Before we get started, let me just say, I know the truth about me. I am Coot-Coot. I am the Leprechaun. I am the Racoon. I am the Seagull. I'm an annoying, loud, obnoxious pain the ass.  Ask anyone that has sat next to me in a department meeting or stood in line with me … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 9

Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 8

JoJo (the missus) makes up stories about me.  I just found this out, like, a day ago.  The first thought I had was: Why make shit up when I'm a walking, talking cautionary tale? After I had pondered that for 2.7 seconds, my next thought was: No wonder the people she introduces me to look … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 8

Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 7

Do you ever notice that when I write this particular series of blog posts that the title is a little misleading?  Honestly, it's not JoJo that comes off bad in these--it's me.  Sure, having conversations with her is what prompts these posts, but it's usually my crazy that's on display in them.  Regardless, it's JoJo's reactions … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 7

Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 6

If you were alive for the last, oh, 20 years, you're probably at least aware of (if not super familiar) with a little show called Family Guy.  Providing a detailed synopsis of the show is not my intent here.  However, I do want you to be familiar with one particular episode--or at least a scene from … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 6

Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 4

If this is your first time visiting The Midnight Goose or, especially, reading about "Things My Wife Says", you came on a good day.  JoJo (the missus) has put up with a lot of nonsense lately--which is normal--but it varies greatly from week to week.  Sometimes even day to day.  Sometimes we can get through … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 4

Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 3

Those of you in the Goose Army--those who follow me loyally (and sometimes fanatically--I won't name any names)--you're aware that I talk shit about my wife in a lot of posts.  More specifically, I talk about how she is plotting my death.  And not without reason.  I mean, she puts up with so much of … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 3

Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 2

JoJo, my wife, the missus, says what she wants, when she wants.  If she's tired and/or irritated, or just feeling feisty, it gets really bad at times.  She'll say what's on her mind if she feels the need, or if she's just bored and feels she needs to liven things up at any given time.  … Continue reading Things My Wife Says – An Ongoing Saga – Pt. 2