As all of my dedicated followers (Das Goose Army) know, Fridays are usually “Yum-Yum Fridays” and I do a recipe and cuss a lot.  Well, there will be cussing and food today, but not a recipe.

This past Wednesday, I was so blessed to get to meet M.L. James (a member in my blog family) who blogs over at Wayward Sparkles.  You should stop by and check out her blog when you get a chance.  M.L. James is like me–she blogs whatever pops into her head, so it’s always a hoot-and-a-half.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s start at the beginning here.

JoJo and I set out from home to pick up fellow Loomer, Carolyn (“Loomers” are members of Dungeon of Loom group on Facebook) and her husband Burl.  On our way to pick them up, JoJo was driving (obviously) and she was telling me some story about one thing or another and she reached into her pocket and I heard plastic crinkling.

Me: Did you hide an Oatmeal Creme Pie in your pocket?

JoJo: *pulling out a peppermint to suck on* Of course not, you idiot.

Me: Oh.  

JoJo: I tucked that into my bra.

Yeah.  We’re the kind of fatasses who think of sneaking emergency snacks into our pockets and undergarments and crevices.  Ya’ never know when your sugars will get low, right?  Or you just get a little hongry.

Anyhoozles, I used to work with Carolyn at a hospital when I was still in healthcare, so I knew her well.  She’s a hoot-and-a-half and I suggest everyone seek her out to become friends.  Or just join Dungeon of Loom and there she’ll be.  Regardless, I had never met her husband Burl.  And let me just put this out there–he is a crotchety guy (not really, but that’s his persona) and he is the funniest guy I’ve met in a long time.  He is my spirit animal and I want to make my life about him.  He’s quick with a quip AND a middle finger and he has almost as many stories as Carolyn.  They made the 30-minute car ride seem a lot quicker and so much fun.

So…the four of us headed down to McKinney/Fairview to Paula Deen’s Family Kitchen to await the arrival of the elusive M.L. James.  I’d only ever seen a Paula Deen restaurant when I was vacationing in Savannah, GA, so this was going to be interesting.  I mean, I fully expected to see Fried Butter on a Stick and shit like that–but this was a fairly nice, mid-range priced, slightly upscale place with a gift shop, leading JoJo to pronounce it a “high-end Cracker Barrel.”  So, if that sounds like your thing, there’s that.

M.L. was running a little late, so Carolyn, Burl, JoJo and I got a table and chatted over Bacon Wrapped Stuffed Jalapenos and Flash-Fried Okra.  Now, look, I’m not the kind of asshole to take pictures of my food everywhere I go, so I didn’t get any pictures.  However, I found pictures of the appetizers we ate online, so here ya’ go:

The moment they were brought out was when I realized that I needed to keep my eye on the ball, and the ball was named Burl.  He took one look at the Bacon Wrapped Stuffed Jalapenos and scoffed.  “I don’t want that shit.”  Why didn’t he want one?  They weren’t battered and deep fat fried.  Yes.  Burl is my spirit animal.  God love that man.

Anyhoozles, the jalapenos (which Carolyn and I mostly ate) and the okra were good but nothing spectacular–but the conversation was lively and fun.

Carolyn and Burl regaled JoJo and me with stories about Burl cutting the tip of his index finger off in his shop and the cut off piece being found in the glove he had been wearing.  Then Carolyn told a story about messing her thumb up and Burl trying to break it off when she told him to feel it to feel how cold it was.  It was good times.  Then we talked about hating kids and religion and politics and how the world sucked.  It truly was a good time to be had by all.

Then M.L. James FINALLY showed up (LOVE YOU, LADY!) and we really got down to business.  By this point, we’d been taking up a table at Paula Deen’s Family Kitchen for an hour and we were just getting around to ordering din-din.  I got the Paula’s Shrimp & Grits, JoJo got the Lone Star Chicken Fried Steak, M.L. James got the Beef Pot Roast, Burl got the Southern Fried Catfish, and Carolyn got the Fried Jumbo Gulf Shrimp.  And there were mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, greens, biscuits, fries, green beans…all kinds of sides.  Now, look, none of us were super impressed with the food–but it was hearty and filling and we were the ONLY people there at 3pm on a Wednesday.  Imagine that.

So, instead of kicking us out for being loud and laughing like hyenas every two seconds, we were able to eat and have a good time and get full.  We all truly had a good time.  Carolyn even regaled us with a story about a time she went to Babe’s Chicken and getting pissed off when one of the employees put a “hairy chicken” on her head.  Which, of course, made us all want to know what the fuck she meant by a “hairy chicken”.  Apparently, it was some fake chicken hat, and Carolyn meant to say “feathers”, but that faux pas led to a great discussion.

Then I asked M.L. James if she was comfortable taking a picture with me to share with the Dungeon of Loom.  She’s a private person, and I totally understood, so we took other pictures.  I shall share those with you now:

Carolyn took these pics of me and JoJo–the second one has M.L.’s arm in it, so that’s something at least.


M.L. James took this picture of Carolyn as she was taking pictures of me and JoJo.


And then M.L. James took this picture of me and JoJo.

Needless to say, at this point, Burl had walked out of the restaurant with all of the to-go boxes in a bag and was smoking and waiting on us to get moving so he could get home for his nap, I guess.  I feel ya’, Burl.  Allen needed a nap, too!

Anyhoozles, we spent more time out front talking away while Burl and JoJo were getting tired of our bullshit and we were finally forced to break up our party.  But it was such a good time and I was just so pleased to meet M.L. James and see Carolyn and Burl (and to be with JoJo, too, of course).  It really was a good day and I’m so grateful to have such great, funny folks in my life.

Because of the success of this meet-up, we’ve already got a bigger Dungeon of Loom meet-up planned for sometime in the future.  Maybe we’ll be lucky enough to get Kat from Angel Who Swears, and Katie from Fatty McCupcakes, and Lori from Come Hell or High Water, and Adie at From Adie, With Love, and Pip from Pip’s Tips, and, and, and…who knows, maybe even Nova from Advice I Needed Yesterday will fly in from Finland???  Come one, come all.  Let’s get the band together!

Side note: If you are a blogger, reader, writer, a horribly funny person (or just a horrible person) why not join our Dungeon of Loom?  You can find us here:


As we drove away from Paula Deen’s Family Kitchen, I snapped this picture of me and Carolyn in the car:


See?  JoJo’s driving.  As God intended.

I gotta go.

Until next time…


25 thoughts on “Dungeon of Loom (Mini) Luncheon

  1. Honestly, if you can arrange a meetup in Las Vegas or Los Angeles or San Diego, I can probably convince Pup to make the trip with me. Anything further east than Vegas, though, I probably won’t be able to make because that would require flying and that costs more money than my broke college ass has.

    1. I’ve been to all 3 cities a couple times before and am willing to go to any of the above. JoJo’s never been far out of Texas so she’s up for any travel. Just gotta get it all organized! I’d love it if I could meet your bish ass in person!

  2. Damn, Allen, you’re one fine reporter! It was a blast! Again, all apologies for my late arrival! It was great getting to meet you and Jodi (you stalkers, you!) and Carolyn And Burl! I really think Carolyn should consider having her own blog! Carolyn, I’m sorry I had no hives to show you that day! They did make a slight return, yesterday, though. Carolyn’s got some hilarious stories! And like you, Allen, she wants to see the gore! I’m looking forward to our next get together with more or even all of our Loomers! And don’t you know we’re bound to get kicked out of wherever we are with that magnitude of funatics (fun/lunatics) all together at once! Okay, I know…cheesy. Mona

  3. I’ve been known to stash snacks and forget about them. It’s not fun finding them months later unless they’re something with a long shelf-life!

    Yes, we need to find a way to get the gang together. I know we talked about y’all coming up here, but if we think farther out in the future, we might be able to plan something a little more fun like Vegas!!!! 🙂

    1. Ooh, Someone on River’s blog said they have a butterfly exhibit at the Bellagio. I could get behind the Vegas angle! Though with this group, what goes on in Vegas ain’t gonna stay in Vegas!

  4. It looks like you had a brilliant time. I wish I wasn’t so far away. I wonder if I’d be brave enough to get myself over to America for a week. I’ve never been, it would be fascinating. I’m going out tonight for a drink, I’m going to stick a jammie dodger in my boulder holder 😮

  5. Sounds like a perfect day all around. Except for those bacon wrapped things. I’m with Burl on that one. Blech!
    Nice to see pics of you and JoJo as well…
    Please tell her I had 2 rolls of Halloween Smarties tucked into my bra yesterday and totally understand the advantage.

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