For those of you who follow The Midnight Goose religiously–first of all, thank you (and what is wrong with you?). Also, you are aware that if people text me, they’re most likely in for a treat. Well, some say “treat”, others say “bullshit”. There’s no telling how I’ll respond to even the most reasonably normal text message. You may get an actual response–a soliloquy about my recent bowel movement–or just an emoji middle finger. Depends on the time of day and whether or not I’ve had my caffeine yet. *shrugs* It’s a crapshoot, really.
People who text me aren’t the only ones who have to watch out. If I have your number, you may just get a random text full of my bullshit just out of the blue. Maybe I was bored. Who’s to say? I just do things and see how it works out. My whole life is one social experiment. You might end up in one of my sex surveys. Be forewarned.
Anyhoozles, thought I’d treat everyone to some more texting nonsense that’s gone down recently. Enjoy! And may God have mercy on our souls.
The following are a few of the texts I got on my birthday:
Until next time…