Gratitude Starts With Priorities

Just a heads up – I’m writing this on July 19th.  By the time you all read this, I may be in the pen.  Not county.  Big Boy Jail.  The muh-futchin’ penitentiary.  Ya’ know, trading candy bars for cigarettes and protecting my toot-toot from the crazies in cell block 9.  Everything I know about prison I learned from Chicago and Oz.  Well, and a few friends that have spent time in County.  But, I digress.

Anyhoozles, we’ve been dealing with a shitstorm of internet issues off-and-on for a few months.  The internet will go down for a day and then miraculously work for a month.  Then it’s down for a few hours and we’re back up and running again.  Well, last night, our internet went down and was down all night and day.  Miraculously it’s working now–even though a tech is coming to check things out tomorrow.

Between 8-goddamn-a.m. and 7-goddamn-p.m.

Like, where do utility companies get off thinking that giving an ELEVEN HOUR WINDOW for a service call is hunky-dory?  Do people still say “hunky-dory”?  I feel that they do.

I mean, it was bad enough that I spent twenty minutes working with an automated technician telling me how to restart my modem/WiFi like I haven’t had this service for decades.  Yeah.  Decades.  I’m that old.  Then the desk donkey that finally got on the phone tried to make me redo everything I’d just done–because her being on the phone would make it now work, right?  Freakin’ assbag.

Maybe I got a little snippy.  Maybe I dared her to roll up on me.  Maybe there’s a current investigation into me making terroristic threats.  Who’s to say?

But, the whole point is that the desk donkey told me that I had to wait around for 11 hours on a Friday so the technician could come to check things out.  I mean, I think my response of “Okay.  I’ll pay the bill between Halloween and Christmas.  Can’t wait to see y’all tomorrow, douchebag!” was justified.

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But, as the day carried on–and I got a nap–and then went to book club, I started to think about gratitude.  Specifically, my lack thereof.  I mean–we’re experiencing a heat wave in North Central Texas that is bringing the temperatures just a few degrees shy of eternal damnation.  I mean, even the dogs wanted to hold their pee today instead of going outside.  Not that I could blame them.  Once I got them out the door, I slammed it and stayed inside.  No way I was going outside to roast while they took their sweet time making peeps and poops.

Here’s the thing, though.  Our AC works.  Sure, it’s so hot in Texas (112 degrees to be specific) that even with the AC set at 70 degrees, the coolest it gets in the house is 72/73.  It’s as if the AC is like “We’ll knock off 40 degrees, but that’s where you’re on your own, fatty.  But–it’s cool in the house.  I didn’t have to lay around in a pool of my own sweat and bodily secretions (pretty sure at certain heat levels I emit Crisco), so at least while I was writing (without internet access) I was cool.

The world is a hot damn mess.  Literally.  But sometimes you have to be grateful for the things you do have.  Air conditioning in summer is one of those things.

Sometimes you just have to take what you can get.

Update: The tech came out–very nice guy I used to work with–and solved my problem.  So…gratitude is a little easier right now.  Funny how that works, right?

Until next time…



  1. HEEEHEEEHEEEI laugh only because I so understand where you’re coming from–and it’s either laugh, cry or end up in the clink! I think the company you use for your internet sent out someone you knew on purpose–everyone else was too afraid! I’m glad things turned out well and no one died or was hurt in yourwriting this post! Things usually do, BUT why they gotta make it so damned difficult in the first place?!!! SONSOFBITCHES!

    Also, gratitude, yes! For me at this moment, it is definitely AC, a loving husband, indoor plumbing, and decent pain meds! Also, amazing blogger friends!


    • We’re glad we have you, too! And I don’t know why they give an 11 hour window–friend-o always shows up within the first few hours. I think they are just trying to test my meds. Jeesh.

  2. If our internet provider had the audacity to give us an 11-hour window, I would demand to speak to a manager immediately. Especially on a weekday. You’re lucky to work from home, but most people have jobs and can’t afford to take a day off to wait for the internet tech.

    That said, when things like that happen, I try to imagine what it might be like to live in, like, the 1800s. I have a TINY COMPUTER IN MY POCKET that lets me talk to people ON THE COMPLETE OTHERSIDE OF THE PLANET ANY TIME I WANT. That’s pretty fkn rad.

    Also. Yes. Air conditioning.

    • If I wasn’t a work-at-home person, a can of kerosene would have led to me actually going to jail. And WiFi is necessary. I gave up cigarettes and alcohol—I ain’t giving up being able to distract myself for hours with silly animal videos!

  3. When I used to have cable and had continuous DVR problems, I called in once and the lady tried to upsell me a home security system. I told her if I could not trust her company with 40 episodes of Criminal Minds, why would I trust them with my family’s security? She could not argue with that logic. And yes, I had to wait during a “window” of time for someone to come check it out. We still deal with them for internet but I cut the cable cord shortly after that and it was the best thing I ever did! Glad you aren’t in jail! 🙂

    • Well, not in jail *so far*. I cut cable service with this company because it was in and out. Bow the internet is getting wonky. Bastards. Oh, well. At least when they fix it, it stays that way for months. 🤣

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