A Blog Takeover – Blue: Oh, So Lonesome for You

Note from Allen: It’s another exceptionally lazy day for me.  Actually, “A Blog Takeover” is a series of guest blog posts I plan to do once a month.  I’m letting people that blog, might blog in the future, or plan to blog in the future, take over The Midnight Goose once a month.  This month, my friend Cynthia Beck provides us with the guest post for the series.  She’s muh beautiful, crazy friend, whose penis I talk about way too much (Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C).  And I’ll never stop.

Cynthia loves fashion, design, science, makeup, aesthetics, and food.  Now, I don’t know exactly what her blog will be like (and it probably won’t be up and running until 2019), but I know it will be brilliant.  Because she is brilliant.  But, I’ll save all of my praises for when it’s closer to time to promote her blog.  In the meantime, let’s all read about one of Cynthia’s favorite subjects: clothes.  Enjoy!

mean-girls-sweatpantsComfort in clothing is a must for me. But by using the word “comfort”, I’m not referring to a frumpy way of dressing. “Frumpy” usually means unfashionable or old-fashioned, but I extend the definition of the word to include oversized clothing, much like a potato sack, or at the other spectrum, clothes that have to be pried on, much like a 10-lb ham in a 4-lb skin. By the fashion industries’ standards, there are probably other terms for these atrocities, but, eh. We’re not steering into Fashion 101 today; although, my childhood dream was to become a fashion designer. I did not pursue that passion.

That was an irrelevant tidbit of information, but it’s there. Let’s dance back to the theme.

BonyBreakableAnole-max-1mbI’m referring to comfort in clothing by means of durability, durability, versatility, the age of the garment, cost, and, of course, comfortability. Gee, I hold high standards for my clothes! There’s probably a psychological syndrome (or two) that explains that. (Note from Allen to Cynthia: it’s called O.C.D.  Also–Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Let’s go get some shoes.  These shoes suck!  These shoes rule!)

giphyI at least know I’m frugal as all-get-out when it comes to clothing. Plus, I abhor clothes shopping, so I make the garments count when I purchase them because I expect them to last FOREVER.  I shop at Goodwill and occasionally WalMart, Belk, or Kohl’s, when Goodwill doesn’t have what I need–which is rare. Hey, it appears I have opened up Pandora’s Box on this subject, so I shall pick only one of my requirements in clothing: comfort. I’m sure there’s a sigh of relief somewhere out there. You know what? I’m going to be even kinder to you and limit my thoughts to one particular item of clothing in today’s fashion world.

Let’s talk about jeans. Jeans have been around since the caveman days, as we all know. Okay, I exaggerate. Denim was patented in 1873 by Jacob Davis and Levi Strauss. Jeans were worn in silent films in 1914. Jeans were mainly worn by cowboys and laborers for their durability but became much more popular in the mainstream once James Dean wore them so well in Rebel Without a Cause in 1955. From then on, jeans were seen as a great source of fashion. (reference)

giphy (1)Nowadays, jeans are seen as a staple by a lot of us denim-lovers, rather than just a fashion trend…or so we wish. I purchase jeans for the durability over fashion. If designed well, they can last for so long, unless you wear them all day, every day, and wash them every single day, or you gain too much weight that you surpass their ability to physically hold your body within their confines. There is always natural wear and tear, but it seems that jeans are being manufactured in today’s times to only last for a short time, whether it be a year, a season, or a trend wave. I’m not okay with that.

mum-jeansA few months ago, I tore a hole next to the pocket in the seat of my jeans, exposing a small peek of my butt, and the buckle snapped off–in the same day–simply because I was trying to save money while my hips, thighs, and butt were expanding without my permission. Since it was the only pair I had, I had to go out and shop–and we’ve established that I abhor shopping. I went to my trusted denim store and found myself in a lair for the trendy but angsty teenager that wants to pay a lot of money to wear clothes that look like they have been taped to an escalator, abused further, and stuffed in a wall as insulation for 20 years.

Texas Chic.jpgThat’s not where young people stop with wanting the horrific designs, either. They also want jeans with rhinestones. I call that “Texas Chic”. They want bleaching to make the jeans look worn in unnatural ways. In other stores, they want jeans with appliques and embroidery. Next, they want the length to be too short, to where you sit down and it shows your socks, or so long that it drags to the ground. I understand these styles are to accommodate flats or heels, respectively, but whatever. I don’t plan to go trout fishing in my jeans, so highwaters are not a must. Then, they want them to be skinny. I want my jeans to go over my ankles with ease. I don’t like to fight something in a way that requires me to have to bend down to yank them on to pull my leg up to yank them on. That’s too much. Oh, and then, if they’re not actually designed to be the famous skinny jean, the material looks like it’s from a skinny jean. I understand that a lot of us want the jeans to stretch for our curves, but does the material have to look like a jegging at the same time? I can get on board with the jegging. They serve a purpose.

anigif_original-grid-image-29778-1389388548-8However, I wanted jeans with real denim. Denim was at its prime in the 80s and 90s in my opinion. I could be biased or something, but I’m sure a lot would agree. Dear Denim Manufacturers, not all of us care about the latest trends in fashion. We want durability, something that will hold us and move with us, something that will be timeless, without looking like a generic Barbie doll. I’d also prefer to not highlight the FUPA in a way that makes everyone heave up everything they’ve eaten since 1922.

To conclude, I ended up finding a pair of jeans that looked like jeans and WERE jeans from…Goodwill. Oh, happy day it was!  So…word to the wise: just go to Goodwill.  Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time, hoping that the teenagers that drive the will of fashion designers have come to their senses.

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Cynthia Beck

I was stoked when Allen asked me to do a guest blog! Thank you, Allen! I’m sure I will address my other requirements in clothing at a later time. I do plan to start up my own blog sometime in the future, and I will have Allen inform you all once it’s up. The blog will be on health and wellness, with sleep, beauty, and comfort added to the mix. Until then, thank you all for having me!

Note from Allen: That’s Cynthia’s nightmare experience of shopping for comfortable, affordable, and durable denim jeans.  I hope you all enjoyed it–and I’ll be back tomorrow with more of my nonsense.  In the meantime, you can friend Cynthia on Facebook or follow her on Pinterest.  Tell her Allen sent you.  She’ll give you 10% off.  She doesn’t sell anything…so, take that as you will.

Until next time…

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