First and foremost, respect to C&C Music Factory–for if it weren’t for the seminal dance classic released in June of 1991 (per Wikipedia), I would have no title for this post. Yes. I used Wikipedia to find the date of the song’s release. This ain’t college. No one is going to give me a failing grade if my facts aren’t correct. And no, I won’t include a reference and citation page–I did enough of that when I was in college.
Anyhoozles…as you might have noticed, I used this last weekend to let you all read several free chapters of MKPI Odd Case Files: The Cow & The Coven. One, that might help some of you decide if you want to buy the book or not. Ask any politician–it’s the undecided voters that matter the most. Same goes for writers and readers. Also, during the weekend, I was working on editing down a novel to submit to publishing houses and agents. So…something will come of that. I’ll keep you all abreast of those exciting developments…I hope.
While editing and rewriting…my mind tends to wander. I mean, how focused can someone with the attention span of a Capuchin be for any length of time? Sometimes, my mind just takes a stroll, I go on auto pilot…and I start to get thoughts. Now, this happens in pretty rapid succession, and my brain ends up sounding like an underground gay rave. Lots of thumping, screaming, lights, smoke machines…glittery confetti. It’s pretty…awesome, actually.
Once my mind is thumping to the beat, I find myself reaching for my mouse and trolling the internet, wondering what’s going on out on the interwebs.
This is usually a bad thing.
Did you know Vegan Toona (Tuna) is a real thing?
Well, it is. Here’s a list of the ingredients: Pea Protein, Pea Starch, Water, Olive Oil, Potato Starch, Sea Salt, Seaweed Powder, Organic Agave Nectar, Organic Apple Cider Vinegar, Konjac Powder, Ginger.
Here are my thoughts on Vegan Toona. One, it’s spelled wrong. Did you know that? Also, why not just call it “Pea and Potato Starch Mush”? Sure. That doesn’t sound appealing or anything–but at least it’s accurate.
Also–vegans, I have nothing against you. But stop trying to make plant-based meat substitutes. Okay? Eat your quinoa and other delicious, but decidedly not meat foods and calm the hell down. Or get some real tuna. I mean–it’s probably full of mercury so you won’t have to feel guilty for long.
Also, did you know that there’s a website (probably several) that are dedicated solely to selling erotic fiction? In particular, I happened upon a site called Exotica.com. I won’t get into this too much–’cause this is obviously a fucking family-oriented blog…but if you have a minute, go there. The names of the books and the authors’ names are. a. hoot. My favorite? Rapist for Hire by Penelope Liksit. Didn’t make that up. Click the link if you don’t believe me–but don’t come asking me to pay your therapy bills. Also, Teacher’s Tied Up Twink: A First Time Gay Bondage Tale by Deborah Cockram sounds pretty literary as well. It might have won a Newberry Award if memory serves. Though the title is a mouthful. See what I did there? *snicker*
The other morning, I made JoJo (the missus) sit and listen as I read off titles and author names, cackling hysterically. She wasn’t pleased.
Though, and I don’t know why, I was really pleased when I ran across a straight-forward title. Something like “Bob Takes a Mistress”. Thank you, you dear writer. I know exactly what to expect there. Bob, an obviously married man, decides to get some strange. I don’t have to read an excerpt or synopsis. Everything is clear from the title. Of course, none of the titles were that, um, “clean”.
I probably need to wrap this up, before someone gets the idea to report this blog to the authorities…but one last thing.
Did you know that Alicia Silverstone fed her child like he was a baby bird? It’s called “kiss-feeding” apparently, and it’s where she would chew up food and, well, I guess, spit it in his mouth like he was a baby bird.
Apparently, no one in the Silverstone household has heard of germs or the common cold. Or herpes. I’m not implying Alicia Silverstone has herpes…but, it’s a valid concern when passing things from one mouth to another.
These three things made me go “hmmmm”. Or puke a little in my mouth. Same thing. So…since I’ve provided you all with a few minutes of what we’ll call “entertainment”, share some things that make you go “hmmmm” in the comments (or Twitter, Facebook, blah blah blah)!
Until next time…