So…whether this is true or not, I don’t know. But I read it on the interwebs, so I’m betting money that it is 100% bonafide truth. Why would someone lie on the interwebs? That’s not a thing is it??
Anyhoozles, in 2006 in London, a woman was found in her apartment, reduced completely to a skeleton, after being dead for 3 years, with her television still going. This is morbid, and kind of sad. I mean–how could someone be dead for 3 years and no one know? Did she not have family or friends that noticed her absence for a full 3 years??
But then I realized–wait a minute…this bitch lived (well, not so much) rent free for three whole fucking years before the super was like “Ya’ know, I really should go collect the rent from Mrs. Gardner*”. I mean, I’m sure the super had stopped by the apartment several times, heard the T.V. going and thought, “not right now, Clarence*, I don’t want to interrupt her stories. Maybe I’ll come back during the commercials…”. Pretty nice of him, really, if you think about it.
I forgot to pay my gas bill once, and the company sent me my mother’s finger in a jar.**
Additionally, why wasn’t the cable shut off? I mean, this lady must have been the queen of paperless automatic billing each month. I guess, maybe, her social security or something was going directly into her bank account, and each month her bills were getting paid automatically…but this is still some unrealistic shit.
When there was a hack at Target, I had to get a new debit card. When there was a hack at Sonic, I had to get a new debit card. And they’re only good for 2-4 years, even if nothing happens that forces you to get a new one before that time is up. This lady had everything set up directly on her checking account, obviously, ’cause a debit card wouldn’t have done it.
Regardless, it’s obvious that dead folk have it easier than the rest of us.
*I have no idea what their names were–but Mrs. Gardner and Clarence seemed right.
**It wasn’t that scary. My mom’s dead. A finger from a live person is much more intimidating.
Until next time…
Update: I’ve discussed this with the missus, and our combined takeaway is–where do we get a T.V. that will run for 3 years without crapping out????