I’m Fat…and You’re Welcome

So…how about some life advice today?

The world can be a cruel, mean, harsh, place with a lot of asshats running around, making it hard on the rest of us to just live our lives and be happy.  People will pick on you because of your job, the amount of money you have, the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the way you look, the way you talk, your house…anything that they deem not acceptable by whatever measures they pull straight out of their ass right before making their douchebag observations.  And not to say that any of us are innocent.  We all have been guilty of saying things (whether to a person or behind their back) that are not kind and are unhelpful.

However, as my sister always says, “you can think whatever you want”.  And she’s onto something there.  Society trains us to think that something is not good enough if it’s not what has been approved by the latest commercial, T.V. show, movie, print ad, etc.  There are arbitrary rules for everything we own and how we look and behave.  And if you don’t match those rules—you will suffer the consequence of having it pointed out loudly.

There’s a first voice in our head—the one I like to call the “asshole”—that tells you things like “that person’s house isn’t good enough”, or “that person’s body isn’t in good enough shape”.  For example—imagine seeing an old man jogging down the road.  Your “asshole voice” might say something like “why is ole peepaw even bothering, he’s going to die soon!”  However, if you wait a few moments, a second voice will probably pipe up with something like “good for him for staying active—I wish I had that motivation!”  That second voice is the one you want to listen to, folks.  It’s the one that propaganda hasn’t turned to the dark side.

Never listen to voice number one!(unless of course that voice is your good voice)

I’ve struggled with my weight since before middle school.  I know that my current weight is unhealthy, it puts me at risk for all kinds of disease, it inhibits me from living the fullest life possible, and it’s not exactly what society says is attractive.  However, this is a struggle I live with every day of my life—even though I am a very happy person.  But, according to society, I can’t both be fat and happy.  Well, trust my tubbly ass, I love myself now—and I’ll love myself if I ever manage to lose the weight.  Because, whether I’m fat or thin, this is my body—the only one I have.  It takes me where I need to go.  It let’s me experience this world.  It lets me enjoy all that God’s green Earth has naturally provided.  It gives me the tools to spend time with my loved ones and then let them know how much I love them.  It’s not the best body, but it’s the one I have.  Every stage of my life, the body I have is what I have to work with.

When I was younger, people commenting on my weight would really get under my skin.  Comments, jokes, and insults would make me feel less than.  As though I didn’t deserve to occupy the shared space of others that didn’t struggle with weight issues.  As though being *gasp* fat was worse than being unkind.  As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve discovered that my weight is a boon for others.  People commenting on others’ problems just deflects from their own and is just them saying “I may be <blank>, but at least I’m not fat like that guy.”  As though me being fat is worse than you being a horrible person.

Regardless, I’ve found over the years that people commenting on my weight (which rarely happens to my face anymore), doesn’t really bother me deeply like it used to.  Sure.  It’s annoying, and it makes me want to give the person a lesson in manners and kindness.  However, I’ve truly settled into the fact that by pointing out my struggle, they’re able to forget their own—if only briefly.  So, for that, I proudly say “you’re welcome” when someone insults me.  I’m fat?  Well, your broke ass is welcome.  I’m fat?  Well, I’m glad that helped you forget about the only three teeth you got in your head.  I’m fat?  Well, I’m glad that I helped you briefly forget about your three baby mommas and child support you can’t pay.  You. Are. Welcome.

Now, of course, I just say the “you’re welcome” part and leave out the insults.  People can take from that what they will.  However, by sharing these thoughts, I hope I’ve done two things.  One, I hope that I’ve inspired you to live in the knowledge that you can think whatever you want, but opening your mouth to spew things that are unkind is not acceptable.  Additionally, I hope you now realize that by having struggles, you are helping the douchebags that do make comments by letting them forget their own problems.  So…next time someone says something unkind—whether it’s about your body, your looks, your clothes, your sexuality, your gender, your race, your religion, your political affiliations…whatever—just say “you’re welcome”.  Just some free advice.  And you’re welcome.


Until next time…

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